Honoring self in a major transition
Creating a sense of security in self, when everything else is new or feels uncertain
Inquiry: How to improve the being in relationship with myself to build a secure attachment with myself and in my relationships.
Elements: Self, secure attachment, boundaries, inner knowing (voice, heart, gut), 3-year-old son, resource
The experiential journey
During a job change, separation, and move, this client was looking for a way to stay centered and resourced amid all of the changes. She feared she might revert to old patterns of not listening to her inner guidance and not honoring her needs during this major transition. We developed an inquiry that referred to the term secure attachment to mean a healthy form of relating that can include feelings of comfort, protection, and a sense of being able to rely on yourself or someone. Developing security and a sense of safety meant strengthening and honoring her boundaries and trust in herself and her inner knowing. Specifically, she wanted to know how to honor her experience and “hold space to have an authentic experience” during the transition. This included how to direct her energy which felt expansive and with compassion for others, her work, and most importantly her 3-year-old son.
This experiential journey explored the elements above and their relationships with one another. Insight from the elements included:
Self: She received a visual of a dance pose, a silhouette – having a grand old time. Head back, chest open, arm up. She saw herself continually opening up and expanding. There was also a sense of dancing with others, each enjoying their own experience while having fun being in the company of the other.
Context or land: She felt a connection to something larger, with a living life force and infinite energy. Being in relationship with it requires surrender but allows her to manifest her goals. She noticed a dance quality with it as well.
Secure attachment: the safety of being held. A hug and embrace. It included compassion, gentleness, and acceptance.
Boundaries: She visualized a bubble or transparent dome that created a safe container. “It is flexible and allows me to move freely. It evolves with me and works with me.” The message was clear. She could either honor them or wrestle them. She could either validate her boundaries and needs or wish they didn’t have to exist. When honored and validated, it works with her and is an extension of her. The intelligence comes together. She concluded, “I have a responsibility of how to be in relationship with them.”
Her son: She got a sense of what this period was like for him and it created a lot of empathy for his experience. His desire was for connection. She saw how taking care of herself led to being able to be fully present with him.
Resource: Community became an important resource and created this sense of flow and exchange being able to receive support and give support.
Integration:
She felt much more stable, clear, and energized the weeks after the session. She shared that the map helped her to feel seen and supported in her experience. She asked me to ship it to her and it now sits on her desk so she can see it daily.